What is Masochism? (From a Psychoanalytic Point of View)

When we hear the word masochism, we often think of physical pain.

But in psychoanalysis, masochism is often emotional and deeply unconscious.

Emotional masochism can look like:

• Staying in relationships where we’re constantly hurt

• Trying to “fix” people who mistreat us

• Repeating painful dynamics hoping for a different outcome

  
  

This isn’t because we enjoy suffering, but because the suffering feels familiar. It mirrors early emotional wounds, and we unconsciously try to "master" those wounds by reliving them.

Freud called this the compulsion to repeat:

We recreate old pain in new situations, hoping this time, we’ll win love, attention, or validation.

But repetition rarely heals.. usually it only deepens the wound.

To step out of emotional masochism, we can begin asking:

• What pain am I trying to repair through this person?

• What would happen if I let go of the hope that they’ll change?

• What kind of love do I truly believe I deserve?

  
  

Masochism in this sense isn’t a flaw ..it’s a defense.

A way our psyche tries to make sense of past hurt.

But you don’t have to keep suffering to be worthy of love.

Healing begins when we stop begging for different endings, and choose new beginnings.

#masochism #emotionalmasochism #psychoanalysis #psychodynamictherapy #repetitioncompulsion #traumarecovery #innerchildhealing #mentalhealthawareness #relationships #toxicpatterns #selfawareness #healingjourney #brunpsychology