Is this their bad energy… or your lack of boundaries?

We often leave interactions feeling drained or off-balance and immediately blame the other person, saying they have “bad energy” or are toxic, but the truth is far more nuanced.

Science shows that our brains are wired to connect with others, to resonate with their emotions and even adopt their internal states as if they were our own. This is called emotional contagion, and it happens through tiny signals like tone of voice, facial expressions, posture, and even subtle micro-movements. When we are highly empathetic or identify strongly with someone, we can start carrying their moods, worries, or stress as if they were ours, and without clear boundaries, it can feel like their energy hijacks our nervous system.

Identification is natural, it’s how humans connect, empathize, and relate, but it becomes risky when our sense of self is porous. Weak boundaries make it easy for other people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to spill into our internal world.

Neuroscience explains this through mirror neurons and affective resonance: our brains literally mirror what we perceive in others, so if someone is anxious, frustrated, or angry, your brain can fire similar patterns, triggering the same physical and emotional responses as if you were experiencing it yourself.

That’s why after a conversation with a certain person, you might feel tense, sad, or irritated without understanding why ..it’s not always “their” energy; it’s your nervous system responding to the space you allowed them in your life.

Boundaries are not about cutting people off or becoming cold, they are about keeping a clear line between your inner world and theirs, about maintaining autonomy over your attention, emotions, and energy.

Strong boundaries mean you can empathize and care without losing yourself or absorbing unnecessary stress.

When you pause and ask yourself whether you are feeling your emotions or the echo of someone else’s, you regain agency. Awareness allows you to notice when your boundaries are weak, when identification is excessive, and when you need to step back or assert your space. The more aware you become of these dynamics, the more you can consciously manage your energy, regulate your emotional state, and choose how much of someone else’s inner world you allow in.

Without this awareness, even small interactions can accumulate into chronic stress and emotional depletion. The truth is both things can be real: some people’s energy is draining, but how much of it affects you is largely in your hands.

By cultivating awareness, practicing intentional boundaries, and understanding how your brain naturally resonates with others, you reclaim your emotional space, protect your well-being, and still remain open, connected, and compassionate.

Your well-being is yours. Protect it, honor it, and know when to say yes and when to step back, because the first step in navigating the world’s energy is understanding your own.

#boundaries #badenergy #goodvibes #psychology #neuroscience